Two years since my last post and yeah, I could go down the 'a lot has happened' route...but I won't, because, well the tedium of that would probably make this my first in ages post but then my last pretty quick. Life is relentless, it forges on and up, sometimes down, spiralling, spinning, nose diving, flat lining and then flapping the fuck out to get back up. It's tough, it's great and it is what it is. Life goes on, gets on and greets a new day, an old sun and an even older moon. We can't stop it, even if we want to.
We have made time, we have made days and we have made our bed which we must lie in. I often think about how bloody wonderful it would be to press pause on that big button, the one that flashes life, on and off like an old Christmas light. A pause to think, a time to step off, to bloody stop the perpetual movement forward, onwards, upwards and beyond what was yesterday and last year and last decade.
I'm tired, I am often scared, often confused and forever angry at the axis that spins us away from what was and what is and what could of been. But thank goodness I am also full of this life. This life that yes, bloody grinds me down, but it pulls me too. Like when you see a tide turn on a west coast beach and it rushes towards you with surprising velocity. It knows gravity and it knows the elemental force of what it is supposed to do and it just does.
So, yes, I'm still here...doing... being done in daily, but doing the thing that I do, to not only get through, but to survive and strive and drive this life as best I can. Because what else can I do?
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